Patricia A. Merlo, M.P.M.

ou may find the following resources helpful:


Nine Steps to Forgiveness  Steps you can take to reduce anger, hurt, depression and stress and move to greater  feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self confidence, healthy relationships as well as physical health.

A Process Model of Forgiving by Robert Enright and  Gayle Reed, Department of Educational Psychology, University of Wisconsin -Madison


Letting Go: How to Forgive Anyone and Why Your Health Depends On It By Harriet Brown. What, exactly, does it take to move  past a lifetime of hurts? Harriet Brown goes on a mission to discover  the true meaning of forgiveness.

Getting Revenge and Forgiveness - audio and transcript of a discussion with Michael McCullough. McCullough is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami in  Florida, where he directs the Laboratory for Social and Clinical  Psychology. He's the author of Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct.

Forgiveness Prayer Depending on your browser settings an mp3 file of the prayer might begin playing when you open this page. The text is also included. (recommended with some reservations)

The Five Languages of Apology - includes a link to a quiz to determine your apology language.

Loving Our Enemies - thoughts by Fr. Ron Rolheiser OMI



Frankl, Viktor E. Man’s Search for Meaning. Boston: Beacon Press, 2006.

Ilibagiza, Immaculee, and Steve Erwin. Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust. London: Hay House, 2006.

Linn, Dennis, Sheila Fabricant Linn, and Matthew Linn. Don’t Forgive Too soon: Extending the Two Hands That Heal. New York: Paulist Press, 1997.

Nhat Hanh. Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames. New York: Riverhead Books, 2002.

Nhat Hanh. Reconciliation: healing the inner child. Berkeley, Calif.: Parallax Press, 2010.

Nouwen, Henri J. M. The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming. New York: Doubleday, 1994.


Image of God

How we look at God has a large impact on how we pray.
“How Big Is Your God?” - Paul Coutinho SJ (video)


Mindfulness and Meditation

How to do Mindfulness Meditation by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche. Mindfulness practice is simple and completely feasible. Just by sitting and doing nothing, we are doing a tremendous amount.

Opening to Our Lives (transcript and podcast) “Jon Kabat-Zinn has learned, through science and experience, about  mindfulness as a way of life. This is wisdom with immediate relevance to the ordinary and extreme stresses of our time -- from economic peril, to parenting, to life in a digital age.”

How We Get Hooked and How We Get Unhooked “Shenpa [a Tibetan word for] the urge, the hook, that  triggers our habitual tendency to close down. We get hooked in that  moment of tightening when we reach for relief. To get unhooked we begin by recognizing that moment of unease and learn to relax in that moment.”


De Mello, Anthony. Sadhana, a Way to God: Christian Exercises in Eastern Form. Garden City, N.Y.: Image Books, 1984.

Laird, Martin. Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2006.


Twelve Step Spirituality

Let go and let God.” The principles of the Twelve Steps offer a lot of wisdom and guidance in addressing our less obvious addictive behaviors, such as a need to fix or rescue, or a need to control.


Richard Rohr Meditations Resolve to Recognize My Addictions  from Daily Meditations provided by the Center for Action and Contemplation -


Rohr, Richard. Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps. Cincinnati, OH: St. Anthony Messenger Press, 2011.

Shapiro, Rami. Recovery -- the Sacred Art: The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice. Woodstock, Vermont: Skylight Paths Publishing, 2009.


Grief and Loss

Loss History Graph Exercise

Notes on Loss History Graphs

Naming Losses



Leonard, Richard. Where the hell is God? Mahwah, N.J.: HiddenSpring, 2010.


Feeling Word Vocabulary

The following are links to lists of various feeling words:


Loved Into Being



(Page Last Updated: 8/23/2014)